
It is not an expression of iconoclasm.
It is not an expression of solidarity with the birthplace of civilization.
It is not an expression of the unity of all mankind.
It is not getting back to the most natural state of things.
It is not any of these things, because you make them look dirty. You take it as an excuse not to bathe, as if there is no water in Africa, or Jamaica. You take it as an excuse to appropriate a culture you probably know next to nothing about, so you can look liberal, socially conscious, politically aware. You don't look liberal. You look stupid. You look like someone I don't want serving my pizza. You look like someone who feels a little too guilty about everything you’ve had, about having the “Invisible Knapsack” that weighs you down: so suddenly, ironically, you become the oppressed. Honestly, is hair the best way you can think of to subvert the dominant paradigm? Have you considered something a little more global? Every revolution starts with one person, but you might consider revolutionizing something past your own nose.
Be an iconoclast – travel and learn a new culture’s mores – not just the symbols.
Express your solidarity – finance a potable water supply in Sudan.
Support unity – fight the American penal system.
Get back to the natural state of things and get rid of your cell phone.
And for God’s sake, take a bath.